Ryan roasts Trump, Schumer at NYC political dinner

(CNN) — House Speaker Paul Ryan roasted President Donald Trump, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and others during his keynote speech at Thursday night’s annual Alfred E. Smith Dinner.

Al Smith V — whose family hosts the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner in New York — was once dubbed the “happy warrior of the political battlefield” by Franklin Roosevelt. The dinner traditionally brings together political rivals and roasts are part of the tradition.

It became a common stop for the two main presidential candidates during US presidential elections, and last year, Trump and Hillary Clinton were guests in what was an unusually tense event.

Here’s a look at some of Ryan’s best jabs:

On Trump’s Cabinet

“Enough with the applause. You sound like the Cabinet when Donald Trump walks into the room.”

On the dinner

“I don’t think I’ve seen this many New York liberals, this many Wall Street CEOs, in one room since my last visit to the White House.”

On Trump last year at the dinner

“I want to promise you, though, as I’ve heard a few stories about how the dinner went last year. So I want to put your minds at ease. You can relax about my remarks. I know last year that Donald Trump offended some people. I know his comments, according to critics, went too far. Some said it was unbecoming of a public figure. And they said that his comments were offensive. Well, thank God he’s learned his lesson.”

On Secretary of State Rex Tillerson

“I want to thank Patricia Heaton. You know, Patricia and I do go back a long ways. Patricia Heaton, she is a Hollywood Republican. A Hollywood Republican. That is an oxymoron. Which clearly was the word that Rex Tillerson was searching for.”

On Schumer

“A lot of people, they ask me, you know, a guy from Wisconsin, what’s it like to work on a daily basis with an abrasive New Yorker with a loudmouth? But you know once you get to know him, Chuck Schumer’s not all that bad. I know why he’s been so hard on the President, actually. It has nothing to do with ideology. You see, Chuck’s mad that he lost his top donor.”

On the headlines from the dinner

“When you read the papers tomorrow, everyone’s going to report this thing differently. Breitbart’s going to lead with ‘Ryan slams the President amongst liberal elites.’ New York Times is going to report ‘Ryan defends the President in a state Hillary won.’ And the President will tweet ‘300,000 at Al Smith dinner cheer mention of my name.'”

On the White House resignations

“The truth is, the press absolutely misunderstands and never records the big accomplishments of the White House. Look at all the new jobs the President has created — just among the White House staff.”

On Clinton during the election

“I’m from Wisconsin. Wisconsin is a fantastic place to visit in the fall. Looking back, someone probably should have told Hillary Clinton that fact.”

On Steve Bannon

“The fact that you learn when you’re speaker: I am now second in line of succession since Steve Bannon has resigned. Very cool, very close.”

On Twitter

“Every morning, I wake up in my office and I scroll through Twitter to see which tweets I’ll have to pretend I didn’t see later on.”

On former House Speaker John Boehner

“Every afternoon, former Speaker John Boehner calls me up — not to give advice, just to laugh.”

On Trump’s insult to him

“You know, at one point, the President actually insulted me. I know that sounds kind of surprising. He described me as a Boy Scout who was boring to talk to. It didn’t hurt my feelings. What hurt my feelings was when my wife agreed with him.”

On Russia’s President Vladimir Putin

“I’ve learned that in Catholicism you are guilty until proven less guilty. I learned that God is always listening. As is Vladimir Putin.”