There’s a place called Poopy’s in Savanna, Illinois. It’s a biker bar that’s revved up over its restrooms.
“Only a place like Poopy’s could take pride in restrooms like I do,” said owner Kevin “Poopy” Promenschenkel.
But recently, some bathroom bandit soiled that image by pulling the water closet caper of the century. Somehow he slipped out of Poopy’s with a toilet seat.
“What kind of a low dog would steal a toilet seat from a place?” Poopy pondered.
This is no ordinary throne. The head case snatched a custom creation by Aquaprint Solutions. It’s worth about a hundred bucks.
“I’ve seen what those bikers eat,” said Jared Brewer, Aquaprint Solutions. “For somebody to go and steal a toilet seat, they must really like it.”
The Thomson, Illinois, company sells a series of designer seats. Handmade, this one features a pattern with metal rivets.
Imagine Poopy’s predicament as the pilferer plucked it straight from his stall.
“They just cut the tabs right off of it and ran out with it,” he said.
The restroom rogue escaped with a seat. But it’s even worse for Poopy. He’s losing a one-of-a-kind creation down the drain.
“I went through a little bit of depression over it. I’ll tell you that,” he said.
One day, there will be justice for Poopy. He’s offering a free steak dinner as a reward.
“Somebody’s going to recognize my toilet seat,” he concluded. “So every time he sits down, he’s going to be nervous.”
And from his spot in Savanna, Poopy will be flushed with pride.